Tears in Masese

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I think these are the scariest words for a prayer. Personally, I like my trust to have borders and to walk upon the solid ground. But I've found that when I'm at the end of myself, that's where I find God. That's when I find that His strength is perfect and enough. My faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior. This prayer comes from a song called Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong, and another line reads, “You've never failed and You won't start now”. I need to be reminded of that. Daily.

Silas is one month!

Somedays I am frustrated. I want things to make sense and for my emotions to settle and the future to be clear. I want my friends here to grasp the power of the Gospel in their own lives. I want to learn to trust Him.

While I'm cutting off of social media shortly, I was advised not to stop blogging – so I'm not leaving!

Laundry day

I love Masese, I'm not sure if you can sense a trend in my posts as of late, but it's true. Upon arrival today there was unrest (which is usual there) as Lillian was in tears, Irene was silently scrubbing the clothes, and another woman was shouting in Karamajong. While I had intended on continuing my way through the book of John, I suddenly felt the Spirit's leading to speak about anger. The Karamajong are tough people. We looked at Matthew and Luke's account of Jesus' words in the Sermon on the Mount and I challenged them to be serious. We talked about how this is hard, and to be honest, impossible. We agreed that God needed to be the One working this love in our heart, because it's certainly not there by nature. We sang songs in Karamajong, prayed, and they all went their separate ways.

Irene's daughter, Justine

I sat and cried for these women.

Lillian – one I've been seeing budding faith in for a few weeks – returned and asked to pray with me. She was in a hard place with the woman mentioned that was yelling, as this woman was involving the police on matters that were (hopefully) based on lies. She cried as she asked God to forgive her for her hatred of this woman. She asked Him to teach her how to love this woman so that she would know Jesus too. She pleaded that if her name was written in the book of death that He would erase it and move it to the Book of Life. She confessed that she has lived in sin and remained there, but claimed the promise that Jesus took her sins on the cross. She prayed that God would keep her in His hands, because “that's the only place I'm safe and have peace with the Lord.” Needless to say, I cried too.

Vicky! 

This woman is 17 and 6 months pregnant. Irene said she grew up with CRO (Child Restoration Organization) and they drill the children in the Bible, so she knows the “Sunday School answers”, if you will. However, up to a few weeks back she had been returning home drunk each night. Irene saw a change in her and started to inquire, and Lillian said she wanted to belong to God, but didn't know how. The only thing she knew was to get rid of the alcohol – a sign to the culture of someone who is not born-again. I asked Irene if she thought Lillian was serious, and with tears in her eyes she said, “Yes, Auntie Kate. Yes. Today Lillian got a new heart.”

Overwhelmed, I cried once more.

I'm so exceedingly blessed to be a part of the work God is doing in Masese. He loves these women so much and has given me such a small portion of His ever abundant love for them as well. I'm so thankful that I get to walk with these women – it's not about converting one and moving on to the next one. I have the privilege of walking with Lillian now as well. She asked if we could take tea together soon! And by walking together I mean that I would also be learning. Her words about being safe and having peace in the hands of the Lord humbled me. 

I want to be there too.

My namesake, Kate, refused to smile

As this new month begins, I will be honest, I'm frightened. I rely so heavily on communication with friends and family. I love to be able to escape to America: either with having people remind me they're praying and that I'm not forgotten, or just having a fun distraction and feeling normal again. So I'm choosing to trust God in this season. He is enough for me and has a purpose for this time. My faith, weak and doubting, will be forced to be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.

In His hands,

Kate

About to bathe my first babe!

Their attempts not to let my things get dirty!