Hiding

“Mzungu cannot be friends with African.”

These words hurt.

I was weaving my way to Irene's house last week and approached by a man who asked what I was doing. When I told him that I was visiting my friends that stayed there, he was shocked and said, “No bzungu live in Masese!” I corrected him that my friends were Ugandan, specifically, Karamajong. He started to smile and said, “Ohhh, but mzungu cannot be friends with African. What do you bring them?”

A little discouraged at this point, I said, “I don't bring them anything. We talk and laugh and hang out and read from the Bible together.” He could not understand this. Once again he informed me that mzungu cannot be real friends with Africans.

But they are my friends.

Rebekah doesn't like fish but loves butterflies.

Irene loves the rain and hates mushrooms. Just like me!

Maureen wants to be a hair stylist someday.

Esther wants her baby Silas to grow to be a strong man of God, like Silas in the book of Acts.

Lillian wants to get married just as badly as I do!

For a long time I saw these women as “my women”, a sort of project that I was working on. Over the last week my mindset has completely changed. These are my friends. I've gotten to know them, I've laughed with them. I've cried with them for the things that hurt them, and they've cried with me when my grandma passed. I hold their babies and sit with them in silence when the big rain drowns out all sound under the tin roofs. I love my friends here.

They make me laugh! This week Irene looked at me with my hair still wet from my shower and said, "Why does your hair look like goat intestines today?" I laughed out loud at that one! A few minutes later she asked, "Auntie Kate, do chickens urinate?" Such innocence and joy they bring me!

I have been torn as of late though. I so badly want to be in America with friends and family. So I'm doing something that is exceedingly hard for me – I'm going offline for the month of November. I really love being able to connect with so many of you on a daily basis, but I don't think it's healthy for me. Lately my waking and sleeping thoughts have been in America, which means I'm not fully here. I love what I do here, but I'm distracted right now. So, as hard as it is, I'm removing the distraction.

“Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” – Jim Elliot

While I have loved being able to be a part of life in America, sometimes I envy those missionaries in previous generations that had little to no commutation with home. It's hard to be torn. My absence does not imply that I do not care about all of you back home, but it is merely to love the people here more effectively, and to rely on God even more. It's easy for me to run to my comforts when I'm sad or discouraged, but I need God. Learning to trust Him in the midst of pain, sadness, change, and the disheartening mundane times as well has been something I avoid. I run to everything and everyone else.

I want to learn to run to Him.

Please pray:

• This would be a time of refreshment and renewed passion for the people of Uganda
• That I would learn to rely on God for my peace, love, guidance, and joy
• That God would prove Himself as the Comforter when my other strongholds are stripped away

This is little Grace

Life will continue here though. I now have two Bible studies in Masese, one with the women from Buzika in town as well as house visits in their village, and trips out to the island on Saturday. I'll still sit with Sandra and listen as she tells of her fear of delivery and I'll teach in the primary schools about what abortion really is. But maybe, just maybe, I will learn to be quiet.

Lemon pie for my birthday! 

To God be the glory,
Kate

Grace and her mom, Mary and I listening to the teaching