Katie Nalem: Deep Breath. I'm okay.

This week has been hard. Many tears with a few laughs in between. But life has continued. The grace of God has not run dry. I watched Anne of Green Gables, sobbed profusely when Matthew died, and waltzed around the living room when no one was home with my imaginary Gilbert. Yes, I may be 12 at heart, but it's these small things that keep me sane. I don't lose myself. One of the biggest prayer requests that my dear friend, Bekah Moore, had when she moved to Nepal almost 2 years ago was that she would not lose her personality. I need to just be Kate sometimes. And sometimes that means living in Avonlea with Anne, Di, Gil, and all my other friends!

Wednesday was my first attempt at returning to normal life here. It was hard. I cried to my friends from Nyenga and they were scared out of their mind. They confessed to never having seen a mzungu cry. I don't think they expected me to turn pink! That evening my friend Mary with baby Promise came to the office. Promise was sick and not doing well, and Mary was terrified. She sat with her face in my lap as I held her and she cried. I tried the usual with God is able to heal her, but she backfired it to me, “But God didn't heal your grandma. Why not?”

Promise

We sat there together and cried. I sang “It is Well With my Soul” (funny that this was the processional hymn at my grandma's funeral) and sat with tears for a long time. To be honest, her question made me mad at God.

Then it hit me that God did heal her. Completely. She had poor eye sight for the last few years, and while I didn't see it these last month, she was in pain. God healed her completely. The location of her healing was different than I had desired, but He did heal.

Victoria Nile Primary

My grandma's funeral was on Thursday morning (evening for me) and I was incredibly blessed to be a part of it via Skype. Technology will never cease to amaze me! I got to see all of my family, attend the service, and talk with my loving sister Kari for 2 hours total. It was perfect. I needed it.

We sang “Step by Step”, my grandma's favorite song. As it is rather contemporary for my grandma, my Auntie Cheryl explained about how she would always say, “day by day” in walking with the Lord. But grandma would correct her with, “step by step”. Even in the hospital they would sing that song, and grandma would continue to walk with Him step by step. I want that faith. I have such a beautiful legacy in my grandma.

I love being in the classrooms!

Things are slowly getting back to “normal” here, not that normal is ever a thing of reality in Uganda. Change is inevitable, every day. But I've played with the Jore kids, lost at a game of Settlers of Catan, ate homemade ice cream, played ring-around-the-rosy on the island, and taught at a few primary schools about pregnancies and abortions. I've laughed, sung, danced, ate good food, and read Jane Eyre.

I love these people. I love them because God loves them. And God loves them more than I love them. It's good to remind myself of that. Step by step, every day in every moment, following Him.

The last I've heard, Promise is doing okay. Prayer for her would be appreciated!