hope for the future, joy for the moment

When it has seemed as though each step as of late has been painful (quite literally -- I broke my toe!), I'm thankful to proclaim that God has restored hope and excitement in my heart!

I have been struggling in so many ways over the last few months. Struggling to see where God is moving here and where He wants me, struggling in relationships, struggling in communication, and struggling for my own desires which were clearly not the Lord's.

Lounge chairs -- and you thought you knew hipster! 

Things have been stripped and distractions removed, which has allowed me to seek Him with undivided attention. When my future plans that I cling to are threatened, I start to question what God is doing. I thought I had the next two years of my life planned out thoroughly, and I don't. Life here is completely unpredictable, and I'm starting to see that God does have good in store even when it's not how I've envisioned life and ministry.

I'm here to say that I have no idea where He's going and how He's working. But I'm thankful to trust my future to the One who does know. I'm excited to learn more of what it means to trust Him in faith.

My kindergarden class -- love them!!

With Christmas around the corner, things are taking a break for a few weeks. I have finished my first term as a kindergarden teacher for five adorable children! Such a blessing to do something that I'm so passionate about in the land that I love. I am looking forward to make lefse and grut for all of my non-Norwegian friends and sing Christmas carols by candlelight. I'm humbled by the fact that I do need a break and grateful that God has provided me with a time to rest.

I will be meeting with a few women in the community of Masese within the next few weeks as we look forward to starting the Ambassador Institute class there in January. There has been talk of things drastically changing there in the next year, which has caused anxiety and panic in many of my friends as well as myself. However, we're moving forward, trusting that God knows what will happen and relying on the Holy Spirit to work even if our perfect little plans are disturbed.

My sweet, sweet friend

I know I am being rather vague, and I do apologize. There are things I wish I could say or ways I wish to express myself, but I would just ask you to pray.

• Pray that God would use this season to bring much needed rest, peace, joy, and hope for where He has me now and what He's doing in the future. 
• Pray that those of us within Masese would be attentive to where the Spirit is moving and how to bring Him honor and glory in our words and actions there.
• Pray that we would be a people of prayer. I recognize a tendency in myself to move ahead without seeking the Lord, and I want to be still before Him.
• However, pray that we would also act in faith where He has not given perfect clarity. We want to be patient and actively waiting on Him, but we also want the faith to move when He says go. 

Thank you so much to those of you who do pray. In this tough season of life and ministry here, I know that I have been covered in prayer, and it is felt and known. I'm so honored that you would choose to be a part of this ministry through prayer. I'm also thankful to be a part of a community here who truly struggles together. The family of faith that we have in Jinja is such a beautiful picture of the Church. It is much more beautiful to suffer through hardship with friends than enjoy a season of tranquility by yourself. 

For those of you who are also going through a difficult season, I encourage you to read Romans 8. All of it. I've been resting there lately. 

This view never gets old

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." -- Psalm 91:1-2

Praying that you would join me in whatever season you may be going through in resting in Him. My prayer has been not that I would cling to the cross, because I haven't felt as though I've had the strength. My prayer for myself as well as you who are struggling would be that Jesus would keep me there by His grace.  

His Strength for Obedience

My boda home today was a wet one!

As I rode home on my boda today in the rain, I thought of the song "This is My Word" and the words that come out of Isaiah 55. I thought of the crops that needed the rain. I thought of the people who need the crops for food. I thanked God for His faithfulness even in providing rain for the food that will feed this land.

I thought of the promise that His Word does not go forth and return void. I clung to that promise. I remembered that His Word is living and active. I remembered that He alone can save.

The view off of my balcony of the sunset

As I look around, I see injustice and hardened hearts. My heart breaks. However, when I look into the Old Testament, I see that real men and women were faced with the same things. God called them to preach repentance to His people, and they obeyed.

The strange thing is, there were those who were promised that they would not see the fruit that came from their obedience. Isaiah asked in chapter 6 how long he would have to call the men and women to repentance, and God said, "until cities lie waste without inhabitant, and houses without people, and the land is a desolate waste." So basically, he wouldn't see any repentance at all. Then there's Jeremiah and Amos and so many others. Men who sought the Lord and His glory and were obedient, but who did not come home with a outstanding missionary report. They were obedient, even when promised that the outcome would not be what they desired. 

I've thought of that lately as hearts are hard and even the thought of preaching the law as it's necessary seems futile. I've thought of how depressing that would have been for Isaiah and Jeremiah. They were real men, after all. I wonder if they ever questioned God's plan. Maybe a "Really God? Can't we renegotiate Your plan here? Do I really have to keep going to these hardened people?" I'm sure they genuinely cared about these people -- you see that as they plead for mercy that God would spare them His wrath -- but there had to be days of discouragement. However, they were obedient. 

One of my best friend's daughter

These men and women would have crumbled in their own strength. They would have hit a wall, broke down, and gone back to "America". However, they did not serve out of obedience that flowed from their own strength. Nehemiah said, "the joy of the Lord is your strength". Those words have never meant so much to me. Joy -- unlike happiness -- cannot be taken away and is not circumstantial. They were obedient because of the joy set before them, just as Jesus did as stated in Hebrews 12:2.

I have seen fruit of the Gospel in Masese. I have friends who -- praise the LORD! -- have been called into His righteousness. I have seen His light in that dark community. But honestly, so many days of the last few months have been lined with discouragement. I doubt that repentance will be found, so I don't bother to speak at all. I deny the power of His Word by keeping silent. I crumble as I rely in my own strength.

I have not been into the community for some time now as we've been dealing with some hard issues. Without going into detail, it has become unsafe for myself as well as those who I visit to be there at the moment. Would you pray that God would grant wisdom to see His timing in this? We don't want to cause those whom we love grief in their community by our visits, but we also do not wish to be lead by fear and allow Satan to drive us out.

With the help of Rhoda, my first turkey!

In this time of confusion, discouragement, and a lack of direction as to where to go from here, I've been quiet. Other missionaries in the community who are a part of the church body here have also been still. We feel the need for prayer more than ever right now, and have committed to praying together twice a week. There are times when I feel like I should be there, I should be doing something. But how sweet it is to labor for this community in prayer! We've stood in awe of God together, we've confessed our sins and personal agendas before Him, and we've prayed for hearts to be softened. We pray that men and women would be raised within Masese to reach their own tribes. We pray that Satan would lose his stronghold in this dark community and God would send His angels to protect and wage war against the evil forces at work. We pray for those whom we love and for those who very much do not like us at the moment. We pray for wisdom and patience and hearts that would love as He loves.

So today, I don't have great stories to share. I don't have have much except to point to God's grace in the midst of this. We see His hand over us and His goodness in allowing us to see truth that has been denied to bring about so much injustice. We see His desire for us to spend time with Him and serve Masese in a real, tangible way through prayer. While this may seem like a rough season with more questions than answers, I'm thankful.

"I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears." -- Psalm 34:4

May we serve Him in the spirit of love, as He has not given us a spirit of fear. May we serve in His strength and the joy of our salvation! Tonight I'm thankful that His joy is my strength.

His Quiet Glory Revealed

She listens to her Karamojong audio New Testament every second of the day. She has it sitting next to her as she washes clothes. She carries it as she walks within Masese. Her neighbors know it will only be off when the power dies and she has to let it sit in the sun for a few hours to recharge. Every time I come it is either sitting in her lap or on the ground near her.

When I asked her why she listens to it all the time she said, "Because I want to talk about God." Her every waking moment is filled with Scripture. Her sweet one-year old daughter hears the Word even before she can speak. Her neighbors have no choice but to listen. The word of God is living and active!

Agan as she listens to Matthew in Karamojong

In the midst of the hard times, it's easy to lose sight of the small blessings that God has given us. I'm passing through a difficult season right now, but God is so good to remind me of where He's been faithful and how He's working in small ways at the moment.

There are days when I'm frustrated with the sin and darkness that surrounds and want so badly for God to display His glory and to be known. I pray for a revival within our community and am heartbroken when I see more darkness.

Even Ugandans like to go sledding!

Isn't that what the Jews were waiting for too though? They wanted a King who would display His glory and power throughout the land in a very visible way. But they got a Servant who chose to display His glory quietly in meekness. I want God to shake this community and make the darkness flee, but instead He's choosing to reveal Himself one by one, slowly and personally to those who would seek Him.

To be honest, the human nature in me gets rather frustrated with His method at times! I want something big, when He wants something quiet and pure. I want transformation of the community, when He's focused on transformation of the heart.  His glory is often revealed slowly and quietly.

"And He said, "Go out and stand on the mount before the LORD." And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper." (1 Kings 19:11-12)

There are those who seek Him; those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. I'm not leading crusades with large groups of people, but I'm seeing more of His heart as I sit and pray with a friend who is struggling to understand the hardships of the day. I'm seeing His Kingdom as we sit and pray for those who have betrayed us in Karamojong, English and Swahili. What a picture of heaven!

Michael and Ivan making clay people to play with

"Are you ready, girl? This is when love gets painful." These were the words of a seasoned missionary here who has been encouraging me as I walk through a difficult situation in Masese. It's hard to love those who blatantly sin with no sign of conviction or repentance. There have been people who have deceived me, character that has proved ungodly, and trust that has been broken within close relationships. We deal with the messy, everyday situations where lives of children are at stake, justice is denied, and eternal souls are overlooked. There are days when I'm spent and things seem too difficult for me to handle one more phone call with impending bad news on the other end. But it's in these moments when God reminds me that I don't work out of my own strength. It's now when God shows me that He alone is my strength to love, to serve, to give. 

“The most important aspect of love is not in giving or the receiving: it's in the being. When I need love from others, or need to give love to others, I'm caught in an unstable situation. Being in love, rather than giving or taking love, is the only thing that provides stability. Being in love means seeing the Beloved all around me.” -- Ram Dass. This quote has been on my mind lately as I feel as though I can't or don't want to love. However, it's the love of God and the love for God that moves us to let Him work in and through us. It's a choice to allow God to show His patience, kindness, truthfulness, hopefulness, and endurance (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). My love will fail if it's based on conditions and stipulations, but His love never ends.

Would you please pray?

• That God's glory, however He chooses to reveal it, would be seen quietly in Masese
• That I would be able to stand on His strength alone 
• That hearts would be softened, conviction felt, and repentance ahead for dear friends 
• That God would teach me how to love as He love 
• That I would be reminded of His blessings and faithfulness throughout the day

Learning

"She just gave you a blessing to have twins when you produce."

My friend had a baby girl named Daisy

Whoa. That was new. The Karamojong blessing had just been given to me and it was a done deal. The laughter that fills the small rooms or echoes under the jackfruit tree bring me so much joy!

Days are hard sometimes. There are times when I sit with my friend as she cries about not having a job so she doesn't have food or money to pay the rent. I cry too. These days have been often here, and I'm at such a loss of what to do. I know all of the stories where helping hurts, and giving handouts is often more detrimental than beneficial. I have always made it clear in the community that I am there to bring the Word of God, and people know that reputation now. 

Sweet Rhoda

 However, "Jesus had compassion." These words found throughout the Gospels have been ringing in my mind lately. He had compassion on the crowd and fed the 5000 with bread and fish. He had compassion and healed the sick (Matt 14:14). He had compassion and gave sight to the blind (Matt 20:34). The Bible tells that man does not live by bread alone, but by the Word of God. But what do I do when the physical bread is not there at all? I can teach these truths but when my friend's stomach starts to growl because she's not eaten all day, does she doubt? Do I really care if I bring her the Word but sit silently as she starves herself for the sake of her child? Am I really loving like Jesus did?

I don't know the answers to these questions. I'm struggling to see where compassion can lead to action that glorifies God. I trust that He is good and can fully provide for my friends, but if He's going to use me I want to be here with open hands.

Maureen -- words fail me!

In a community with death, disease, too much alcohol, murder, rape, and anything else you can imagine that lurks in the darkness, it's hard not to focus on the evil. But "the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it" (John 1:5). I have friends who love the Lord here. They teach me what it means to hope when all seems hopeless. They show me the meaning of joy. A few asked last week if we can start a Bible study again.

At church this morning we were looking at Luke 10. "In the same hour He rejoiced in the Holy Spirit and said, "I thank You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will" (vs21). I was convicted to find that in the eyes of people here, I'm the wise and understanding. I'm the one trained in the Bible. And yet, God reveals Himself to those who are weak and foolish.

I have so much to learn.

My friends with such personality! 

I'm so thankful for the promise that God is good. I lean into that every day. I'm learning to remember the cross and praying that God would restore to me the joy of His salvation daily (Psalm 51). I'm so blessed to be a part of the story God is writing in the hearts of other women as well. Even as we sit and they teach me Karamojong, I see His grace and mercy on all of us.

My favorite word that I've learned in Karamojong so far: "alala" -- the saucepan that they fry food in. I love learning the language!

Angela and Sarah

Would you pray?

• That God would grant wisdom in knowing how to respond to the hurts of my friends in Masese
• That God would teach me more of His love for people, including myself
• That God would give me the faith of a child, that I'd be able to call on Him in total dependance
• That God would prepare to way for the Ambassador Institute class to begin in January

Some friends who love tickle fights!

I sent out an October monthly newsletter today. If you would like to be added to this list, email me at katelyn.gudim@gmail.com and I will gladly send you updates each month. Thank you so much for your prayers!

LIFE: joy in the midst of sorrow

As I knelt down in the dark room, they slowly pulled off a blanket to reveal his small, lifeless body. He was dead. He had drunk paraffin the day before and there was nothing that the doctors could do. He was 16 months old. I sat with my friend as she called out, "Why? Why?" I sat there and thought the same thing silently. I cried because my dear friend was hurting, and the thought that I'd never see her sweet boy with his beautiful smile again hurt me as well.

In the midst of it, I couldn't help but realize how blessed I was. I was allowed to mourn with my friend. I was allowed to see the brevity of life and how quickly it can pass away. It's in these moments when I've known the Lord. I've been known by Him. I've been held by Him. And He's still good.

My first week back has been amazing. The reality of life hit when I got the phone call to come quickly on Friday morning, but friends, God is good. Being in Masese again, even though it has been a rough couple of days, has been so good. Today was the burial and it is cultural for the family and friends of the family who lost a loved one to spend three to four days at the family's house, eating, sleeping, and mourning together. I was blessed to be a part of that today.

I sat next to my friend as they handed out the posho and beans and she asked me to pray before we ate. Jokingly, I asked if she preferred English or Karamojong, and she laughed as she told me to pray in her language. Recalling all I knew, I said, "Akuji Papa, alakara, amina". (Disclaimer: I don't know how to spell in Karamojong) which translates to, "Dear Father, thank you, amen." The girls laughed and laughed at the little that I could remember! One of them asked, "Katie, what are you thanking God for in this time?" As I looked around at so many dear friends seated in the dirt with me, I said, "This. I'm thanking Him for this." Community. I was soaking it in.

We ate, they tried to teach me how to deny a proposal in Karamojong, and the children came and we fell in a heap on the ground in a tickle fight. There was laughter, hope, l i f e. My friend spoke of seeing her son in heaven one day, and how she's happy that my jjaja (grandmother) is there to play with him until we get there. My friend became a believer back in January. Oh, the hope we find in Christ Jesus!

The amazing thing about life is that the sorrows and pains that we experience make the laughter and smiles all the more sweet. Life is so beautiful when you are able to allow the times of sorrow to lead you to Jesus and find joy in Him.

I watched The Giver for the first time last night and was struck with an underlying message of joy through sorrow. Jonas didn't know what love or joy was until he experienced the pain. In the book it reads, "They have never known pain, he thought. The realization made him feel desperately lonely." Our Savior has known pain. He has experienced it to the fullest. And now He is the source of our joy that is found even in the midst of that pain. 

Ways that you can be praying:

• My friends in Masese and myself as we grieve and grow together through this hard time
• School that starts up on Monday! M-F 9am-12. 
• Wisdom in knowing where God is leading in Masese

Thank you so, so much. This summer was amazing as I got to see so many of you. I'm honestly thankful for each one of you who has has taken the time to be a part of this ministry as well. I am honored to have each of you in my life. 

Kate

The Fight Inside of Me

Today I'm struggling.

I just got word from my friend Irene that one of my friend's baby just died. He died of malnutrition. It breaks my heart to think that my friend -- abused by men, rejected by her family, and alone -- now lost her only child. It breaks my heart to think that I could have helped.

As I was reading the Psalms today I came across 72:12-14 "For He delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper. He has pity on the weak and the needy. From oppression and violence He redeems their life, and precious is their blood in His sight."

I'm struggling to understand.

Why didn't He save him? Why didn't He deliver this mother and child who were very much in need with no helper.

Then there's this: "precious is their blood in His sight." What if my friend didn't know Jesus? What then? Is the blo
od still precious? Does He still care? Does He care that I'm hurting, or my friend who is hurting more than I can imagine?

Suddenly, in the midst of the hurt and confusion, He knows. He used to remind me daily that He knows, and He cares. I don't understand, and somehow that's okay. It's okay to hurt and be angry at the way that life unfolds because there is sin and evil in this world. But God knows.

I recently got lasik eye surgery and I can't tell you what a difference it's made in my life. I don't need glasses or contacts to aid my vision. I can see.

My biggest desire for my dear friends in Masese is that they would know the Lord personally as their own Savior. I want them to be able to see without any aid. I want them to hunger and thirst for righteousness. I want them to be filled with the same Holy Spirit that fills me. I want them to see.

I can't do that for them. That's His job. He alone is the One who gives the gift of faith. I still struggle with that. I want to go back and physically save this sweet baby boy who is now buried in the ground, and I spiritually still want to save my friends. That is a daily struggle for me that shows a lack of trust in the Lord for His goodness and faithfulness. It's vulnerable for me to admit, but there's freedom in honesty.

My home

I have now been in America for two and a half months, which means it's another two and a half months until I return to my other home. Would you please pray?

• People would know the Lord in Masese -- especially Chio.
• God would comfort those hurting in the death of this sweet babe
• God would be glorified in His children -- that He would give me faith to trust.

Goodbyes and Hellos

"See you in September" and "surprise!" have been the phrases as of late. As many of you already know, I packed my bags and closed up shop in Uganda for a few months last week and flew to America to surprise my family a few weeks early. 

Hannah, Elijah, Julia, Judah, and Jay!

The last few weeks have been busy handing things over as I prepared to leave. I can't express how hard it was to leave my family there -- my church family, other missionaries, and friends in Masese. 

Dear friends from Serving His Children

Over the next few months my translator and friend, Irene, will be continuing with Bible study with the women still in the Pregnancy Center using the material from Ambassador Institute. She will also be meeting regularly with the women who have recently come to faith. There are other missionaries that work in Masese as well, and one of them is hoping that a church will be planted by the locals and that we would be able to come alongside of them while they lead just to continue with discipleship, but allow them to lead without interfering. 

Jeremy Boone

Things in Masese have been incredible as of late. It's strange to see God working so visibly there. My friend was recently approached by two men that wanted to be taught the Bible. Last week as I was teaching Bible study, a man approached and listened for a while. He then asked if I could teach him the Bible, but I told him that I only teach women. He then asked, "Are there any men in Masese that teach the Bible?" I was blown away. I got his contact information and we got him in touch with locals in the community who are strong believers. I know I say this all the time, but friends, God is working in Masese. I will continue to hear from Irene on how things are going there.

Tamara Boone and I on Easter morning

The next few months will consist of weddings and road trips and speaking at churches. Along with Caribou coffee. I'm hoping to meet up with as many of you as possible, if even just to thank you in person for your prayer support. I will be returning in September for an indefinite amount of time. I know that I am young and single, so life can change in a heartbeat, but I am looking forward to investing in Masese longterm at the moment. 

I would greatly appreciate your continued prayers!

My sweet friend, Ruthie

• That I would adjust well to the American culture with humility and grace
• That things would continue well in Masese and God would keep them in His hand
• That I would be able to raise financial and prayer support for my return in September

As always, to God be the glory!

Kate

Nate and Rhoda Jore -- words fail me

So much fun with balloons in Masese

My dear friend Esther and her baby, Silas

Angela, Mama Sophia

Another dear friend, Angela with her baby Agan

My gym buddy and one of my closest friends, Emily

Elijah and I on the day I left

significantly insignificant

I have never felt so small, so insignificant. 

"Indescribable" by Louie Giglio showed me pictures of creation in the heavens -- the stars and galaxies that were created by the powerful Word of a ferocious God. 

I stood at the bottom of a waterfall that stretched 100 meters down and sprayed me with cold mist. 

It's crazy to think that a God who can create stars and planets and fire and waterfalls could think of me.

I found these words written in my journal from January after I had been to Sipi Falls. Oh, how I wish I was constantly aware of how insignificant I really am, just to magnify the glorious grace of God in my life. He thinks of me. He knows me. "His desire is for me" and He bids me to come away with Him (Song of Songs).

The past few weeks have been difficult as I look forward to going back to America shortly. I know I'll be coming back, but it's hard when I feel so responsible for everything I'm doing here. My friend Sarah asked this week, "Nalem, are you going to forget me when you're in America?" This broke my heart. I wanted to scream, "I'm not leaving!", cancel my plane ticket, and apologize to my sister and best friend for missing their weddings.

Deep down, I know there's a larger issue at heart.

Sarah, Mary, Irene, Esther, and Angela -- my sisters in Christ

I know I didn't save them; God did. However, I feel responsible for their faith. I do not trust the churches that they're attending so I worry that if I'm not pouring truth from Scripture into their hearts, they won't grow. I think they'll return to their old lives and forget about Him, or they'll buy into all the heresies that are rampant here. Somehow, even though I know He saved them, I don't trust Him to keep them.

I don't trust God to be faithful.

Have I learned nothing in my time here? Have I doubted Him all along? When did I pretend to be Him?

Because the truth is, my friends are also insignificant. By the world's standards, they are uneducated, untalented, and poor. They're also human, finite. But the God that spoke the universe into existence also created them. God finds them of incredible importance -- not because of anything they've done or will do, but because He created them and bought them back with the blood of His Son. Ransomed, redeemed, restored. Oh, words that I love!

I know that I will not forget my friends in Masese. They have changed me -- not just in the way that I dress and speak, but also my heart -- and I have grown much because of them. I have known more of Him because of them. But more importantly, I know that He will not forget them. He thinks of them. He knows them. His desire is for them and He bids them to come away with Him. He loves them more than I do.

Would you please pray?

• That God would teach me to trust Him -- in everything.
• That God would continue to work in Masese and allow me to be a part of it as He wills
• That the transition of my translator and friend taking over the Bible studies would go smoothly and that He would equip her Himself

This Present Darkness

We both drip with sweat as we sit inside her little room on a hot day with no breeze and we pray. We pray in English and in Karamojong, and we pray hard. We pray against those who curse us, because they are now many. We know that we have enemies in Masese now, and we know we have made the evil one upset. We know we are fighting, and joyfully we know we have the victory in Christ! We know that if God is for us, who can be against us? Our fear is lessened as we continue in prayer.

This is the reality of things here. We're frightened because we know we're dealing with the spiritual realm and warfare that we cannot see, but we rejoice because we can stand together and know that if he is unhappy, that means the Kingdom is advancing. And oh, friends! The Kingdom is advancing in Masese! My friends and I are so excited for what He's doing there -- things seen and unseen.

A spirit of fear has gripped my heart this week as we battle against the rules, authorities, cosmic powers over this present darkness, and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places (Ephesians 6:12). But oh, praise Him, we're able to take up the armor of God!

"Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance..." (Eph 6:13-18). 

I hesitate to say these things, because I've always secretly doubted those that claim to battle in spiritual warfare. In a prayer asking God to reveal more of Himself to me, He has answered by letting me see more of the spiritual realm -- a prayer that I quickly retracted in fear! But I have seen Him in this: His goodness and grace, His angels that fight for me, and His peace that transcends all understanding. I know He is here, and I know this is His battle that He has already won. I can stand secure in that assurance.

Would you pray?

• That the evil one would have no power through fear in my life or the lives of my friends in Masese
• That we would stand in the armor of God daily, ready for battle at all times
• That God would give us boldness to continue the work that He has called us to (Acts 4:23-31)
• That Masese would see the Lord

Disciplined in Grace

"That's not fair!" -- Oh boy do I remember saying these words when I was younger. And my dad, much like Alan Matthews in Boy Meets World, would always have the same response:

"Life is not fair." 

Sophia was born March 6th!!

I struggled with this a lot as a kid, whether it was wanting to go to a friend's house or a baseball game or what movie I couldn't watch that everyone else got to see.

Can I be honest with you? I stomp my feet at God a lot with these same words today. I'm frustrated in the corruption, poverty, rape, scandals, and brokenness that I see on a daily basis. It's not fair that my friends were "raped", it's not fair that they don't have money to eat, it's not fair that the medical and government systems are so corrupt, and the list goes on.

I've been listening to Relient k lately (yes, mock if you must, but I still love them!) and one line from "Be My Escape" jumped out at me. "But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair."

Seriously. 

Whoa, do you see what they did there? That line literally stopped me in my tracks as I began to process what this meant. The truth of it is that we do deserve the corruption, brokenness, etc that this world throws at us, but even much, much more than that. We deserve punishment for our rebellion against God. We deserve hell -- eternal separation from God. That would be fair.

Grace and mercy have come to mean so much more to me in the past few weeks as I've seen His work in my life and in the lives of those I care about here as well. I'm thankful that I do not get what I deserve; I'm thankful that life is not fair. I'm thankful that God is just and doesn't just sweep my sins under the rug and call it good, but that He took care of it with Jesus.

Jerry Bridges writes, "God does not forgive because He wants to be lenient with us. He forgives because His justice has been satisfied. The absolute forgiveness of our sins is just as rock solid as the historic reality of Christ's death" (Respectable Sins).

Esther is making necklaces/bracelets to sell

I've been learning a lot about what it means to be disciplined in every area and intentional in thought, word, and deed lately. That means even being disciplined in not only acknowledging my sins, but accepting them as forgiven by the grace of God. It's easy for me to either just move throughout the day knowing I'm saved, or to recognize my sin and sit there and cry for a bit. But to see myself as a sinner saved by marvelous grace daily is where I need to be.

In Masese we continue to seek, pray, learn, and grow. The new believers are hungry and their passion has rekindled me as well. I'm so humbled to be a small part of God's glorious work in this slum, and so thankful that He's working in me there too.

Silas and I love to play! 

Would you pray?

• The new believers in Masese would stand strong in their new faith and that the Holy Spirit would be working continually in and through them. That He would guard them from attacks from the evil one -- through witchdoctors, dreams, demons, or doubts. 
• That I would continue to be near to the cross. That Jesus would keep me in His grace. That I would have a healthy understanding that I am a great sinner saved by a greater God. 
• That Masese would know her God. Pray for more Karamojong leaders and also the Bible in Kjong to be known. 

Thank you so, so much for your prayers! Esther also thanks you from the bottom of her heart. She cannot fathom that people would pray for her when they don't even know her; she was overwhelmed when I told her that her brothers and sisters in America are also rejoicing with us in her salvation! 

Harvest in Masese!

"Jesus took our place on the Cross!"

These are the words of excitement that my friend exclaimed as she realized what my illustration meant. I had one of them stand up and told the group that where she was standing was her place. I then moved her to the side, stood in the exact place, and asked what I just did. They understood that I had replaced her. It was then that my friend burst out her realization.

Friends, God is working in Masese!

This week has been filled with hope. Death, yes. Disease, yes. When I say these things I literally mean that two people I knew were killed and gapping wounds were brought to me with pleads of physical aid. These things happen. But that is Masese. I say these things not to romanticize my life but to try to paint a realistic portrayal of life here. But oh, such hope!

Maureen and Sarah!

A few months ago I had a picture of me and my late grandma as the background of my phone, and my friend Maureen once said, "I love to see your grandma." I then told her that she could meet her someday in heaven if she wanted, and she replied, "Oh no. For me I'm not saved. I'm not going to heaven." That was it. I could never get anything else out of her. She knew she was a sinner but grace was too much of a stretch for her.

This week I heard the beautiful news that she was recently born again! Upon meeting with her I asked if she remembered that day, and she said, "I wasn't saved before, but now I get to meet your jaja (grandma) someday, because I'm going to heaven too!" Ahh, what joy! She has also brought my friend Sarah to Jesus as well! Her next words were, "Sarah, you get to meet her too. I think she's going to be really nice to us because we're friends with Auntie Kate." Oh, my heart aches with joy!

Friends and new sisters! 

To further my excitement this week, I was given 8 Faith Comes by Hearing mp3 players that have the New Testament in Karamjong on them. I met with the four recent converts on Friday and we spoke about how we need the Word to grow and sustain us (Jeremiah 15:16), and one of them asked, "But how can we when we can't read?" My friend Ruth was sent Bibles that I was then able to provide for the two that can read. Then I gave the mp3 players out and boy, do I wish this could have been recorded!

When they first heard the man speaking Karamajong, they were thrilled! When they realized it was the Bible, rejoicing broke free! Esther was so excited that she jumped up, spilled my tea everywhere, and gave me a huge hug! Mary, who cannot read, and only speaks Karamajong (not Luganda or English) sat and cried. Irene, my translator, repeated everything to me and when she got to Matthew 5 she said, "Oh, we are sinners". But Esther jumped in with, "But God has saved us!" I told them to listen to them in their houses so people wouldn't steal them, but when I visited one of them later that day, they were showing everyone! They promised me that they would still be good moms and not listen to it too much that they'd forget about their children.

They sat in silence like this for a long time

Oh, God is working.

Another woman came to me and professed faith in the afternoon, but I was skeptical because this is all becoming too much. When I spoke to Irene about it she said, "Auntie Kate, we're not forcing God on anyone. The Holy Spirit is working here. It's a change of heart. Do you remember your name? The harvest is ripe!" 

Did I forget how big He is?

Sweet Mary, this meant so much to both of us

In these incredibly exciting times, I have been encouraged to be more intentional, disciplined, and focused -- in prayer, leisure, food, thoughts, everything! And as Jim Elliot once said, "Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." I want to be here. So yes, I'm doing it again. I'm going off of social media for the month of March, but as I realize people do us it to get ahold of me for business related reasons, I will still be answering emails when necessary.

My email is katelyn.gudim@gmail.com

I love Esther! 

I'm so blessed to be here in such a time as this. I'm humbled that God would show me more of Himself, draw me close, and reveal more of His love for me in such an intimate way. I'm honored to see His glory in Masese. Would you rejoice with me?

Would you also pray? Masese is still dark, people are still drunk, and the demons still have such a stronghold there. But the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. Friends, I'm excited! But I know Satan is not, and he will bring temptations and trials to hinder this work of the Kingdom. I would greatly appreciate your prayers.

Discipleship in Action

"I am so thankful for people that have given up their lives to be here."

This was said in the most humble way and was meant to encourage me, but it also provoked some thoughts this week. I did give up my old life. But you know, this is my life now.

Silas enjoying his new bed

Uganda is home.

A few weeks ago one of my friends in Masese said, "I'm always going to remember your friendship." We were in the middle of folding laundry, so I laughed and said, "Because I fold your clothes with you?" She stopped and said, "No, because you do the normal things with me."

I don't say this to seem ultra-spiritual or make you think that I've got this all figured out -- because I don't. I live life with my friends here, and hope that they see Jesus. I'm not brave and I don't have an amazing faith. But I do have an amazing God that gives me the strength for each day. He does the exact same for you.

I just happen to live in Africa.

This week has had incredible highs and lows. My dear friend, Esther, has been born again! Whew. I always pass by her house when I enter Masese and on one occasion she asked if I could come back to her to talk later. When I returned, she asked how to believe. She was giddy! "How do I do it? Do you pray? Do I pray? Do I have to DO something?" No, just believe. Jesus does the rest.

Esther -- my new sister! 

This week she has been full of conversations surrounding the spiritual realm (witchcraft is a thing of daily life in Masese) and the fact that Jesus speaks Karamajong! Her own words were, "I saw a Jesus Film where Jesus spoke English, and I was sad. Then I saw one where He spoke Karamajong and asked my neighbor about it. She said, "Don't you know that Jesus speaks all of the languages of the world? He knows every tribe." Auntie Katie, He even knows Acholi!" -- the "hardest" language of Uganda, or so my friends call it. When I asked if I could share this, she said, "Yes, I want everyone to know that He speaks every language. Especially Karamajong." I told her that I've been praying specifically for three women in Masese, and now there's only one left that is not a believer, upon her saying, "Oh! Let's go get her! We need to bring her to Jesus!"

Justine and Emily

Along with the excitement, Masese is still Masese. Today was incredibly painful and I so badly just wanted to sit under the jackfruit tree and cry. Would you pray that Satan would lose his stronghold over Masese? Pray that people would be delivered from alcoholism. Alcohol is cheaper than food or tea, and it fills you up. When you get a lot of really poor, really drunk people together, it doesn't end well. But friends, God is working.

Grace

A bit of news for you today: I'm going to be calling this home for a while! I'm going back to America for the summer for a few weddings and support raising, and will hopefully be returning back here in early fall! While I'm excited to see friends and family, my heart hurts to leave this place. 

However, when I was asked in Masese who was going to lead Bible study while I'm in America for a while, my translator and friend Irene said, "Oh, I am." It was a matter of fact. I love it.

The discipleship model. Focus on a few, then they focus on a few, and they focus on a few. The model continues and multiplies on its own. What an incredible joy to be a part of this in Masese.

"Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation, and to GOD, the Lord, belong deliverances from death." -- Psalm 68:19-20

Eternal life. What joy!

Still Learning

Did you hear about the one where a blonde got locked in a hospital room?

No pneumonia! They give these out at the hospital!

I had been down with a serious case of bronchitis for a while, so Carolyn finally decided to send me to Kampala for a chest x-ray. After finishing, the doctor left to go read the negatives, and I sat. I read my book for an hour and finally decided to go sit with my friend Sarah in the waiting room. However, the door was locked! I knocked but the door was thick wood and it barely made a noise. I finally gave up and sat for another hour. Carolyn called and when I told her my predicament, she called the hospital. Just as Sarah was coming for me, I slid my hand on the door and felt it move. It was a sliding door. The doctors had forgotten about me and thankfully too embarrassed about their mistake to make fun of me. Sarah and I sure had a good laugh in the waiting room!

Rhoda, poor girl has bed bugs

I love making cinnamon rolls. However, instead of putting 3 1/2 cups of flour in the dough, I used 3 1/2 cups of baking powder. Now, don't ask me why we had 3 1/2 cups of baking powder, or why I didn't notice it beforehand, but it's safe to assume the rolls didn't turn out to my standard.

David, our newest family member! 

Why do I tell you these silly stories? I want you to know that while I've seen things and grown a lot over here, I'm still Kate. Maybe I'll grow up someday and stop getting into silly scrapes, But, then again, probably not.

On a more serious note, things have been good as of late. My friend showed me this link, and she says it better than I could, so you should probably read this article.

I saw my friends from Masese after a two week break while I was sick. On teaching about the Passover and what a clear picture it is of the Cross (whoa, right?) I started to cry. Yeah, during my teaching. One of the women said, "Ah, Auntie Kate! It's as if you're crying. For us?" I want so badly for my friends to see Jesus. My view of poverty has completely changed now, and while some of the stories we hear do break my heart, many of my friends here have decent lives. (Not in any way according to American standards, but that's another story.) I want to save them, not in the physical sense anymore, but I want them to know Jesus. I want them to have blood cover them so that the destroyer will pass over (Exodus 12:28). But the small voice keeps telling me, "You don't have to save them, I already did."

It's not about being arrogant and wanting to bring all of my friends up to the American standards of living. It's about loving these woman as my friends and praying that Jesus shines through that. It's not even about my words, it's about the Holy Spirit. It's all Him. I know I say that a lot, but I remind myself of that more often as the days go by. It's all Him.

Hosea

A good friend here was once challenged to never make it just about the physical, because that's solely making the path to hell smoother. Harsh, yes. But it was a challenge and conviction to keep things in the eternal perspective. While I am in no way against helping (when it is appropriate and truly culturally helpful), I never want to bring the comforts here only to have them suffer even more in eternity.

These might just be faces to you, but these are my friends. I never want it to be about numbers or stories that I can share, but to remember that these are people with eternal souls. People that have taken place in my heart that I'm not sure could ever be replaced. And I'm still learning what it means to love and be loved by them. 

I don't think I'll ever stop.

David, born January 18th