A Bend in the Road

"When I left Queen's my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does." (Anne Shirley)

It's okay to hurt.

A few nights ago I went to bed without saying “goodnight, love you”. I said my goodbye to Courtney at 2:30AM Monday morning, as she drove off to Entebbe to catch her morning flight back to America. After the tears had slowed I started planning. I was lining up a job for next summer in my mind and thinking about how soon I could get up to Fargo. Because, you see, my coping mechanism when things are out of my control is to plan and to control what I can.

My other best friend, Lydia Johnson, used to call me “Captain Agenda”.

When I made myself stop and allow the hurt to settle in, the tears came. Honestly, I'm really going to miss Courtney. We've lived together for three years now, so this is a big split for us. Her life is continuing in Fargo, going to school and working at a church. My life is here, working with the Jores and my wonderful women at the Center. That hurts. But it's okay to recognize that hurt. I don't have to hide; it's okay to be real and vulnerable and show that I am not always put together. And while it's really going to be okay and in comparison to other hurts, right now the pain is real and there. It's easy for me to minimize my hurts, whether physical or emotional, in comparison to others'. However, this pain is mine and it's real in this moment.

This is a transition period for me. If you know me at all, you know that I loathe change. I lost my partner, companion, and best friend. My ministry will look fairly similar, but life will look different. Would you pray for me as I transition into this new season?

Tonight I moved in with a girl named DeAndra in a house just one street up from my old house. It's an amazing house and I honestly feel very American in it. (There's even a microwave!) The Jores and Micah have also been incredibly supportive and have let me know that I'm really not alone here. Hannah (age 5) and Jay (age 3) were even wiping the tears off my eyes and Elijah says, "Kate, please don't cry." They're so sweet! I was very sad to leave my Ruthie behind, but we'll still see each other when we can. 

My new roommate, DeAndra!

As Anne also said, "It's been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will."

Things are very different now, but I still love it. I love my women, I love the Jores, I love speaking Luganda and hearing "AUNT KATE!" shouted as I walk down the street past the dear children that I see each day. I love that Sandra is praying for a girl so that she can name it Kate; "Can Kate be a boys name too?" I love Jinja and the people here so much, and I'm so blessed to be able to show them God's love as well.

To God be the glory,

Kate