Redirecting -- The Season of Transitions!

Gratitude is inclusive.

“To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives – the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections – that requires hard spiritual work. Still, we are only grateful people when we can say thank you to all that has brought us to the present moment. As long as we keep diving our lives between events and people we would like to remember and those we would rather forget, we cannot claim the fullness of our beings as a gift of God to be grateful for. Let's not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God” (Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey).

I love Uganda. The land is beautiful and so are the people. A few days ago I found myself sitting under a magnificent tree looking out to a yard of vibrant flowers against the blue sky. My exact thought at the moment was, “paradise is lonely when you have no one to share it with.”

I have been grumbling for the past week. I hate feeling lonely. I have complained to God a lot about this. Thoughts such as, “Why did I stay here? Was this really Your plan? I hate being single!” run through my head while I walk the streets alone.

But gratitude is inclusive. When I thank God for something there always seems to be a “but” that follows. “I love it here, but I wish I wasn't lonely.” is the current one on repeat. However, “If we take happiness from God's hand, must we not take sorrow too?” (Job 1:10).

This week has been hard, but I think I've figured out what lesson I'm learning – now I just need to learn it! I'm dependent on God. He is my source of life and joy and thankfulness. I'm not saying I've mastered it in any means, I'm just aware what subject in school that I'm in now.

This week has been the beginning of so many transitions for me. Along with all of the other changes, things at the Center are shifting gears as well. Carolyn wants to teach the women sustainability so there are around twenty women that are “graduating” from the program – no more free bags of food is the biggest issue here. As we send them on their way in order to make room for more young women that are truly in a crisis at the moment, we're stepping out with them into their homes. I now have two small groups of women to disciple! We'll be meeting in their villages, and one of the women is even going to be my translator. I'm sad to see these women leave the program, but so excited to be able to walk with them into this new season in their lives as well.

Quick view of Masese -- where I'll be every Tuesday morning with one of my groups!

Would you pray?

• I would continue to learn that my dependence is on the Lord – for worth, acceptance, love, and joy.
• I would grow closer to the Lord in this time of loneliness – Matthew 28:20. He is always with me.
• I would know what to teach my women and how to teach it. I'll be meeting with each group once a week for a few hours.
• My women – Irene (translator), Alice, Susan, Natasha, Esther, Jennifer, Ruth, Zainabu, Rehemah, and Kate – would have soft hearts to receive the Word of God, and that God would open their eyes to their sin and that they would cling to their Savior and His grace.

“To be grateful for an unanswered prayer, to give thanks in a state of interior desolation, to trust in the love of God in the face of the marvels, cruel circumstances, obscenities, and commonplaces of life is to whisper a doxology in darkness.” – Ruthless Trust, Brennan Manning

Again, thank you so much for praying.

To God be the glory,

Kate

A Bend in the Road

"When I left Queen's my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does." (Anne Shirley)

It's okay to hurt.

A few nights ago I went to bed without saying “goodnight, love you”. I said my goodbye to Courtney at 2:30AM Monday morning, as she drove off to Entebbe to catch her morning flight back to America. After the tears had slowed I started planning. I was lining up a job for next summer in my mind and thinking about how soon I could get up to Fargo. Because, you see, my coping mechanism when things are out of my control is to plan and to control what I can.

My other best friend, Lydia Johnson, used to call me “Captain Agenda”.

When I made myself stop and allow the hurt to settle in, the tears came. Honestly, I'm really going to miss Courtney. We've lived together for three years now, so this is a big split for us. Her life is continuing in Fargo, going to school and working at a church. My life is here, working with the Jores and my wonderful women at the Center. That hurts. But it's okay to recognize that hurt. I don't have to hide; it's okay to be real and vulnerable and show that I am not always put together. And while it's really going to be okay and in comparison to other hurts, right now the pain is real and there. It's easy for me to minimize my hurts, whether physical or emotional, in comparison to others'. However, this pain is mine and it's real in this moment.

This is a transition period for me. If you know me at all, you know that I loathe change. I lost my partner, companion, and best friend. My ministry will look fairly similar, but life will look different. Would you pray for me as I transition into this new season?

Tonight I moved in with a girl named DeAndra in a house just one street up from my old house. It's an amazing house and I honestly feel very American in it. (There's even a microwave!) The Jores and Micah have also been incredibly supportive and have let me know that I'm really not alone here. Hannah (age 5) and Jay (age 3) were even wiping the tears off my eyes and Elijah says, "Kate, please don't cry." They're so sweet! I was very sad to leave my Ruthie behind, but we'll still see each other when we can. 

My new roommate, DeAndra!

As Anne also said, "It's been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will."

Things are very different now, but I still love it. I love my women, I love the Jores, I love speaking Luganda and hearing "AUNT KATE!" shouted as I walk down the street past the dear children that I see each day. I love that Sandra is praying for a girl so that she can name it Kate; "Can Kate be a boys name too?" I love Jinja and the people here so much, and I'm so blessed to be able to show them God's love as well.

To God be the glory,

Kate

Famine in the Land

The breath-taking view of the sunset from Forever Resort on the Nile

8 people -- five men and three girls -- 2 motorcycles. Hey, it's Africa! Hakuna matata! Actually, we never really say that, but sometimes I do sing "The Circle of Life" when the sun comes up just right over the hills.

We just got back from a weekend in the villages just outside of Jinja. The team from America has been with us for about a week and a half now -- Brandon, Ruth, Trinity, Joy, Hannah, Taylor, Maddie, and Amanda. We split into three groups and spent two nights with some of the pastors that teach in Ambassador Institute. What a blessing it was to step into their lives there. Each group memorized a story of the Bible and then told it and acted it out to the classes that we visited there. My group was Brandon, Joy, and Amanda and we stayed with Pastor Masasazi -- the most humble, solid, joyful man I have ever met! 

Life in the village is a lot different. The houses are made of brick and mud. The ground is hard and the nights are cold (especially when you're sleeping in a tent outside!). I came in knowing all of this from my visits to the island, but it's definitely different when you stay. We ate a lot of food, and that's an understatement! My group was blessed enough to receive two lunches on Sunday, and Brandon and I weren't lucky enough to serve our own plates -- God was gracious in expanding our stomaches that day! There was a lot of sitting around while meals were prepared, during classes when they taught in Luganda, and just sitting with the people.

I have never been so in awe of God before. The stars don't compare. I even saw my first fireflies! This land, these people, they're beautiful. Life is simple. It's hard; living takes a little more effort, but it's good. Even though it was different than my usual day here, and we got drenched during the night by a glorious African rain, I am still overwhelmed by the goodness of God. I cannot express how grateful I am to have worshiped along side my brothers and sisters in Christ here. I am so encouraged by their faith. I am so humbled to realize that we serve the same God that sees us all as His beloved children.

Just a small glimpse of what the land looks like

Pastor Masasazi is in the pink next to Brandon, along with his sister-in-law's family that we visited before our glorious walk home under the stars. He told us his testimony while we sipped our sweet milk. He used to hate Christians, but God got ahold of Him and completely changed his life. Now he walks hours sometimes in order to bring the Word to those who haven't heard. His words were, "When God has given me everything, why wouldn't I serve Him?" I loved that. It wasn't said out of obligation; he said it out of the abundance of love that overflows from his very soul. Masasazi understands the Gospel. He knows that we are justified (made perfect) by faith through the blood of Jesus. He knows that everything points back to Jesus.

Ambassador Institute is an amazing program that offers Bible classes for two years to anyone, for free! They start in Genesis and work their way through the Bible, story by story, and discuss. This method works a lot better here as they are oral learners and can recall stories from even weeks ago; it's amazing! This weekend we gave them megavoices -- devices that have the stories recorded in their native tongue that are solar powered. I wish I could have caught their excitement! Vicky said, "We are now cured of our boredom!" At church we were told she said, "It looks like a cell phone, but when you hear it, it's God!" These men and women are hungry for the Word of God.

The people of Uganda are in a strange place. Many of them are taught to read English in school, but not well enough to read the Bible and understand it. Many Ugandans do not know how to read in their native tongue. This makes reading the Bible very rare and difficult. This is where the stories amaze me. I have shared stories with my women at the Center and they can even repeat the ones from weeks ago to me today! They can't read, but they can listen. And when they hear, they can share with others. The Word of God goes forth, even without paper and binding. Somehow I think that has something to do with make disciples of all nations. I love that God is not bound by levels of education!

Our tent broke but Brandon fixed it! He is now dubbed "Brother Paul" -- the tent maker! 

Caught on a morning walk, enjoying God's beautiful creation

While I am happy to be laying in my own bed tonight, knowing that there's a flushing toilet just down the hallway, I am full. My eyes were opened this weekend. I saw hunger in a real way -- there is famine in the village right now -- but there is such a famine of the Word of God as well.  Would you pray that the Word would spread throughout these wonderful people? Sometimes my mind can't wrap itself around the idea that they don't even know the Sunday school stories, because no one has ever told them. They get so excited just hearing about when God promised Abraham that he would have a son, not because the story is so action packed, but because it comes from the Bible. They are hungry and thirsty. 

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." 

These people are dirty, tired, hard, strong. Forgotten by the world. They are not forgotten by the Lord. He goes before us. We are not pioneering our own way here, but we seek to follow God to the hearts that He has prepared and softened, drop a seed, and watch God do the work. Ah, that thought brings me so much joy! 

We have the team until Thursday, which is coming soon. It has been such a blessing to have them here, to see Uganda through their eyes, to join in their excitement. Please pray for their last few days here as well as their upcoming travels. We are so thankful for all the joy and laughter they bring us each day!

To God be the glory!

Kate and Court

Honest Moments

Can I be honest with you?

I miss looking nice. I miss my bangs and straight hair, skinny jeans, scarves, and boots. I miss make-up.

I don't tell you this so that you compliment how pretty I look even with messy hair and dirt, because I'm not fishing for compliments. I tell you this so you know that I'm real. I struggle with things here too. However shallow or vain they be, somedays the pull of whatever it is that I had to give up to come here is strong enough to make me question staying here.

A very American Kate that the world won't see for a while!

I miss Caribou coffee and Widman's chocolate and cheese!

Sure, it may sound silly, but I miss those things.

Most days it's fine. I'm surrounded by a beautiful land (have I forgotten I live on the Nile?) with beautiful people (even though they're covered in dirt and the babies don't even have diapers). I serve a beautiful God who shows His power to me each day by raising the sun in the morning and having it set in the night, who has new mercies for me each day.

Can I be honest with you?

Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing anything of value here. Sure, we have stories about baby Miracle that are truly miracles, but what about the other days when I just sit with Jennifer and talk about the fruit in America? What about the times when I hold Rashan and sit next to her mom Rehema in silence because we can't converse past the greetings in the other's language. What about the days when our ministry is "small" and the fruit is little?

Our ministry here is based on building relationships, and those are messy and long and hard. Sometimes I want a big ministry that I can come back to America and show my amazing slideshow with all the incredible stories that you expect to hear from me. But what if I come back and I tell you that I was friends with Sarah, that I sat with Mwamini, that I listened to Anet, that I cried with Fazira? What then?

 Can I be honest with you?

I love it here. I love the people, the weather, the land. I love serving in the same town as Nate and Rhoda Jore. They are the most humble, beautiful people I have ever met. Today was Nate's birthday and it really hit me how blessed I am to know such a man as him. I want to soak in every moment with them, every word from their mouth. I wish all of you could know them as well! I love serving the same God as them.

Tomali and I -- his mom wanted me to capture our different colors.

It is that God that gives me the strength to love these people and forget about the fact that I miss my closet and nice hair. These may seem like silly things to you, but they are real things that I have to learn to surrender. Yesterday we talked about the cost of missions and wrote some of them down; it felt so good to be honest with God about the things that I do miss. There is freedom in honesty though. There is joy in surrender.  There is grace and peace and hope.

As I learn to be honest with God, people, and myself, I pray that God would be glorified in my weaknesses. I hope that being vulnerable tonight has helped paint a picture of how much of a mess I am over here, but how great my God is!

I haven't said it in a while, but thank you for praying for us.

Kate and Court