What's the Deal with Kaleidoscopes?

KALEIDOSCOPE: "Observation of beautiful forms"  -- taken from the words "kalos" (beaultiful), "eidos" (that which is seen), and "skoped" (to look).

So spoiled to live with girls that love to bake!

Okay, to be honest, Jenny and I picked the title because I just love alliteration. But we did stop to think about it too: sometimes things don't make sense here and the view looks all jumbled together, but it's still beautiful. Life here is messy, but it's filled with beautiful landscape, people, and the love of God.

Ruth making bead necklaces to sell

The beautiful thing about a kaleidoscope is that light has to enter to reflect the beauty. In the same way, my life here would be drab and depressing if the light of Christ did not flow into all that's said and done. I see poverty, starvation, sickness, abuse, deformities, and death. However, the light of Christ shines through my view and I see hope, love, peace, and joy! I could be overwhelmed, internalize everything, and sit and cry every night, but I don't. With a kaleidoscope, you don't have to look at something beautiful to begin, but the way that the light reflects the mirrors creates an image of vibrant colors and patterns. I know God loves these people exceedingly more than I do, and His light creates something beautiful.

The view leaving Buzika

I've been thinking often of the persecuted church lately, as I'm currently reading Safely Home by Randy Alcorn (if you haven't noticed, I do a lot of reading here!). This book of fiction introduces the Church in China, and it's really broken my heart. It's very easy to be a Christian in Uganda, much like America, because "everyone" is. Sure, there are a vast number of Muslims and even now some Hindu, but even amongst those, there is often a mixture of beliefs that may even include God and Jesus. There are pagans and witch-doctors, but even the "Christians" go there. Lines are blurred so that being a born-again in Jinja is relatively easy. But that being said, sometimes I find it difficult for that very reason.

Posho (right) and eggplant (left). Surprisingly very delicious!

What is beautiful in persecution? What is lovely in the Boxer martyrs of China, when more than thirty-two thousand Chinese and two hundred missions were murdered? Where is the joy in house churches still in hiding and a shortage of Bibles and people in jail for honoring Christ more than the government? Looking through a kaleidoscope with the light of Christ, I see beauty.




It pains me to think of such things, and in a sense, guilty because being a missionary in Uganda is relatively easy. However, I do see beauty. I am honored to call those men and women my brothers and sisters. Even though I'm not currently struggling, I can join them in their trials through prayer. I am grateful that God calls people to suffer for His name's sake so that they would grow closer to Him and He would be glorified to all because of their witness. While I am thankful for my freedom and ability to witness so openly here, I am even more thankful that He has called so many men and women to the hard places where following Him is more than a sinner's prayer.

LOVE this girl so much! Rebekah at her house in Buzika 

So I will choose to look through my kaleidoscope with the light of Christ to shine through the depressing images to create beauty. I will cling to Him in the midst of the hurting, sorrow, and death here. I will look to Him on behalf of my brothers and sisters scattered throughout the world currently persecuted for their faith. I will plead for Him to give me eyes to see the beauty that He is creating.

 Friends, this is not just Africa. My prayer for this week is that God would give us new vision to see the beauty that He is working all around. Even when the brush strokes may not make sense, the mural is a masterpiece. Remember, with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. Even beauty from ashes. 

A glimpse into Ambassador Institute -- Nate teaching about the 12 spies

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from the darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion -- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of His splendor." -- Isaiah 61:1-3. Love this!!

Full

Last night I went to bed with a heavy heart.

I awoke not ready to pour myself out at all, so I was honest with God and told Him that I had nothing to give. Funny how when you're at the end of yourself, you find that God is the One who remains.

I got to go back to Kisima this morning and was sad to find that my friends Medina and Rehema were both on the mainland, so I played with between 40-50 children for hours instead! We played ring around the rosy, duck duck grey duck, and a new game they taught as well. We struggled through the language barrier, but laughter has no language! I was full.

We got hit with rain just as we were leaving, so we sat for a while and then braved the waves of Lake Victoria. I was wet, cold, and scared, but it was good. The boat rocked and I secretly sang "with Jesus in the boat you can smile at the storm". The sky was gorgeous and we made it back safely, with much laughter at my fear from Micah! Sometimes I need just good fellowship and laughter at the silly things. Even though I was terrified, I was full.

My friend Mary had her baby yesterday! I was there in the morning and she was in labor, so I sent her on a boda to Walukuba and got a phone call 4 hours later that she had a healthy baby girl. On arrival the mom handed me the baby's medical book and told me to write down the name, that I was to give. I named her Grace -- partly after my beautiful niece Grace Elizabeth, but also because of the beautiful grace of God seen in the Gospel given through Jesus. What a teachable moment! These women look at their children as punishment many times, so I want her to see this child as a gift. God's grace. She's beautiful, 6lbs, and 1 day old! We sat there for hours playing with the baby and then African big rain hit so 10 women, 4 children under the age of 1, and a 1.5 year old huddled in her tiny room with tin roofs. The rain drowned out any words that would have been spoken so we sat in silence enjoying God's gift of rain. What joy was in that room! I was full.






Tonight Jenny, DeAndra, and I have hung out in the kitchen baking and cooking and completely being girls, and I'm full. Literally, the food and dessert was delicious! But also in my heart. I'm still a single 20-something, silly as ever, and a kid at heart. I need nights like this! I'm so thankful for these two that make me feel like a normal person! I love being able to laugh! As Jenny was pouring cupcake batter she exclaimed, "Oh it's perfect! Let me just get the ant out of there..." Such is life in Africa!

God is good. I'm full tonight. Life is still hard and my heart is still somehow sad, but it's full. I think God allows us to be emptied so that He can fill us with Himself. For that, tonight, I'm thankful. I can face tomorrow, not knowing what it will bring, because I know that God is able to fill me with His joy. Joy is not dependent on circumstance. His joy and peace transcend all understanding. His joy is my strength. Don't you just love truths from the Bible?

Thank you for your prayers. I would appreciate prayer for my grandma again -- she was released to a nursing home but then admitted once again and is there now on a feeding tube. Pray that transitions would go well and that I would have a renewed sense of love and passion for these people. Pray that God would be glorified in all that is said, done, and thought.



Alapha!

Lydia brought dresses made out of pillow cases that a church sent with her. We brought them to Masese yesterday. Here is Lillian, due this month, in one of her new dresses. Love her!

 It is my translator Irene's birthday today -- she's 18! Words cannot describe how much I love this young woman! So solid; her faith inspires and encourages me!

Irene and her sweet girl Justine -- love their candid smiles here!

 Irene's aunt is also a beautiful woman.

 Meet Grace!
 I already love her!!

 Irene and Grace

Mama Mary with her new baby Grace! 

Suffering for the Kingdom

I think it's easy to romanticize the life of a missionary.

My life looks different than it did in America -- I wear different clothes, speak a different language, eat different food, and fit into a different culture. It's not okay to eat while walking. That's different.

However, I build relationships. I talk and laugh with my friends. Some things are hard and we do have to deal with children dying, women wanting to commit suicide, people not having food, HIV, and a whole list of other things that make life in Uganda different, but at the end of the day I come home and read a book. My sister said her reason for being exhausted wasn't as good as an excuse as mine because she stayed up late reading her book the night before. While I do get tired walking many miles throughout the day and going to different villages, my excuse is often the same -- I stayed up until 1am reading my book last night.

As much as you may think that my life is so hard and that I'm really giving up a lot to be here, you might be surprised to find out that it's not. I do miss family and friends, chocolate, cheese, skinny jeans and scarves, and pumpkin spiced lattes especially now when all of you are talking about autumn (it's still sunny and gorgeous here, everyday). But the past few days I've eaten delicious desserts, drank hot chocolate while sitting cozy with my book, and enjoyed a few hot showers. I have electricity most of the time, hot water, drinking water from a filter, and an oven to bake delicious foods in. We even have oreos in town now; you could say life is not that bad.

Right now I am slightly spoiled in the house that I'm at. I most likely will not be as privileged at the next place, but I'm still not living in a hut. I'm not exactly "suffering for the kingdom".

With that being said, things have really settled into routine here now. I have a schedule that I follow (as best as possible, until big rain spoils our plans) and love getting to know these beautiful people. Life seems normal now -- I go to the Jores, Masese, Buzika, Aunt Tina's, the office, the market, and a handful of other places, and this is life. Days are never the same here, but I love having a semblance of consistency here!

Yesterday I told Sarah and Robina that I needed to go to the grocery store. They leaned in close and asked what I said. I repeated myself and was confused when they were still not hearing me. Robina asked, "Are you speaking French?" It finally dawned on me, they are called supermarkets here. Oops.

Sometimes I'm still overwhelmed though. I see a lot of hurt each day. A lot of people come to me and ask for money, food, or medicine. It's hard when I tell them that the only thing that I offer is the Word of God and prayer. Sometimes I feel like I'm failing them. Today I sent a woman away. That hurts. I know God loves them and I want to fix their problems. However, that's not my job. I don't have the save the world. God already did that in Jesus. I repeat that to myself multiple times a day.

Sometimes I don't feel like loving some of the people I know though. Last week I sat with a woman and was so frustrated with her that I was tempted to get up and leave, but suddenly it dawned on me that she is God's daughter as well. God sees her and loves her just as He loves me. It's humbling to realize that. There is much freedom in that though. I'm not obligated to love them because I'm above them, I'm free to love them because we're in the same boat. We're all sinful humans that stray from the King. And the joy is that He still loves us and calls us back to Himself!

Prayer requests:

• Lydia and Ruth are coming tomorrow! Pray that they transition well to life here and find a place to plug in. Also as we all shift to a new house shortly. 
• Finances -- God is able!
• As I seek to disciple specific women, that God would speak through me and go before to soften their hearts. 
• Wisdom in knowing where to help and where to pray and let God work. 

Thank you so much for your prayers! 

A Normal Tuesday

It's Tuesday night here and I'm exhausted. Today was good: filled with an early morning run, crying with some of my friends in Masese, praying, studying the Word of God, and many laughs in between!

Tuesday mornings I have a Bible study with some of the women that were in our program but have now graduated. However, three of these women want nothing to do with me now that the food handout is gone. That hurts because I care about these women and their babies, but I'm continuing to pray for them. Their names are Alice, Esther, and Natasha, would you also pray?

While the group looks different than expected, there are women that are yearning to learn about the Bible! Praise Him! Irene, my translator, goes around throughout Masese on Monday night telling them that I'm coming in the morning. They sing a song in Karamajong from Psalm 1, so we looked at that today. Then they asked how we are like trees, because we don't give out fruit. So we looked at Galatians 5, sanctification and justification. They had so many questions! Today I had Lucy, Lucy, and Jennifer. Let me tell you a bit about each of them:

Lucy: This one is a blessing. She asks the most honest questions and named her baby after my mother. On Sunday she stepped on a nail and I was worried it was infected (you can imagine the hygiene here) so I took her to a nearby village to a clinic.

Jennifer: we met her last week as she was about to commit suicide. Her “husband” was terribly abusive but when the rent was due, he ran off. She was kicked out of her home by her landlady. Terrified, she sent her 1 year old back to Moroto (a place in the north where she came from) with a stranger going that direction because she has relatives there. She's also 6 months pregnant. We met, talked, prayed, cried, and laughed together. I really, really like Jennifer! Irene (bless her, so amazing!) took her in to her own little room and she's now studying the Word with us!

Lucy: When I first met Lucy, she was a drunk. Her baby was taken to an orphanage in town because we feared for her life. Lucy also has TB. I haven't seen her in weeks but today Irene said she wanted to talk to me. On arrival she said, “Aunt Kate, all I want to do is learn about God with you today.” Blown away, all I said was, “I'd like that.”

Judith -- named after my momma!

Here's a story for you: There are three different places called Masese (I, II, and III). The most common one is Masese I. As we were leaving the clinic I waved down a boda and asked him if he knew where Masese III was, he said yes, so we both sat side-saddle as I held the sleeping little Judith in my right arm and held onto the boda with my left. On the way, I noticed we were heading to Masese I and in my broken Luganda (I'm now taking lessons twice a week!) I told him he was going the wrong way. The problem here is I don't speak Lugada well, the boda man didn't speak English well, and Lucy only speaks Karamajong. Boy, we were in a pickle! The roads were terrible and I was trying to stay on while holding my sleeping baby and trying to figure out where in the world he had taken us! It took about 30 minutes for us to arrive, but I had agreed on 1,000 shillings (about 40 cents) before we left so as I handed that to him, fully expecting him to demand more, he rode away! Three languages, a bad foot, and a sleeping baby. What an experience I won't forget!

In typical African style, under a tree for Bible study

Lately things have been well – I went to Buzika (the village where Gift and Rebekah live) yesterday and was so blessed with Gift's eagerness. She's quiet so it's hard to tell how serious she is sometimes, but I really enjoy one on one time with her. We found Rebekah in her garden so we weren't able to talk about Scripture, which at first made me sad, but then I realized that sometimes it's okay just to visit and show that I care about her as a friend. I love those women!  

 Gift and Sarah

 She makes me laugh and encourages me so much!

On a side note, my Grandma Gudim has been in the hospital in Fargo for a week. She is an amazing woman of God, missionary in Madagascar for 13 years, and I love her completely. I'm hurting. It's hard to be away from family when there's a crisis. Would you please pray? That she would be healed, that I would be comforted. God hears and He knows. I want to see her again.

To God be the glory,
Kate

P.S. If you're in need of a few good reads, check out author Brennan Manning. In the past few weeks I've read his books Ragamuffin Gospel, Ruthless Trust, and All is Grace. Please, read them. Be blessed by his honesty as I have been.

Two New Sisters!

“There's no guarantee that they're going to turn, the guarantee is that Jesus will be with you.” – Francis Chan

This week at church we looked at the passage from Luke 5:17-26 – the story of the paralytic being lowered through the roof. Although I have heard this story many times, I was really struck by the faith of the friends. They abandoned all – ridicule (they were in the presence of Pharisees), punishment (they did break through someone's roof after all!) and rejection (Jesus didn't have to heal their friend). However, Jesus chose to heal their friend, and in doing so chose to reveal His glory to these men as well. Can you imagine the testimony these men would go out with for the rest of their lives??

These men couldn't heal their friend. They didn't have to. All they had to do was get him as close to Jesus as possible. Jesus is the One who heals. Sometimes He even allows us to see some of His glory.

This past week two of my women came to Christ! They both come from Muslim families, so this is a huge deal. I had been praying for both of these women for a few weeks now, as we had sensed a softening of their hearts. On Wednesday I met with Rehemah just to understand where she was coming from – she fasted during Ramadan but is extremely smart and knows all the answers to my questions. She shared that she believed the Koran and the Bible were both true. After talking for a while, I shared that you cannot be a Muslim and a born-again at the same time, but was content to leave it at that for the day. She was silent for a bit, so I told her she was free to ask me questions at any time. She looked up and said, “Can I change my name?”

Rehemah is a Muslim name. Changing her name would be a testimony to the change in her heart. I was hesitant and asked why, and she shared that her heart had changed and she wanted to show it. We talked, she prayed, and we shared in her joy! We gave her the name Rebekah. The other women in this group were filled with joy as well and started telling her about baptism as well as preparing her for the problems that might arise with her family. Jennifer said, “But Rebekah, we are now your sisters. We will be here for you.”

The next day she came up to me and said, “Aunt Kate, I told Zainabu about yesterday and she wants to talk to you too.” So we met and I asked her what she was thinking. She said she was tired of being both, and just wanted Jesus to come into her heart and forgive her sins. I was very honest and blunt that being a born-again doesn't mean you have a genie to grant your every wish – it comes with hardship (especially amongst the Muslim community) – but that it's a walk through life with Jesus. She thought for a while, then quietly said, “But I want that.” We talked, she prayed, and we shared in her joy as well! She wanted to be called Gift because of the Gift that God has now given her. Wow.

Sometimes God allows us to see a small piece of His glory.

Rebekah and Sarah 

I love these women so much! These two are amongst my Wednesday women – the ones I have been pouring out all of my love to – and am so excited to see them grow in their faith! I know it won't be easy, especially with their families, but I'm so blessed to be a part of their story.

Honestly, I came here not expecting to see any converts. That truth hurts me, because it shows my lack of faith. But I've heard of many missionaries on the field for years without seeing any fruit, so I'm humbled that God would allow me to be a part of this. A sermon from Francis Chan this week caught my attention when he said the above stated quote, Jesus will be with you. There are days when I feel like there is such a barrier here; I want my women to know Jesus but they're just not getting it. Again, it's not my job to heal. It's my job to get them as close to Jesus as possible, just by being faithful to the Word of God. And in that, I'm promised that Jesus is going to be with me. And sometimes, He allows me to see the healing and glory as well!

I am seized with amazement, glorifying God, and filled with awe as I contemplate, “We have seen extraordinary things today.” (Luke 5:26).

My Sarah. I'd be lost without her! 

I went to Rebekah's house today and she was beaming! She's so hungry for the Word. I'm hoping to start walking with her through Scripture each week. Her family is now calling her Rebekah as well (which is a huge testimony that she told them and that they're okay with it). I'm so excited to see what is to come with her and her family. Friends, rejoice with me -- you have two new sisters as well!

Remember this little peanut? MIRACLE came back!! 

 I just had to post some of the wonderful Jore kids too -- Hannah and Jay like to play a game where they're little pigs, I'm a big wolf, and I eat them. It's fun. :) 

 Is she not the cutest thing ever? 

 Jay! He makes me laugh like no other three-year-old that I've ever met!

Gosh. So stinkin' cute!