When Darkness Closes In

“It is in the dark that God is passing by. The bridge and our lives shake not because God has abandoned, but the exact opposite: God is passing by. God is in the tremors. Dark is the holiest ground, the glory passing by. In the blackest, God is closest, at work, forging His perfect and right will. Though it is black and we can't see and our world seems to be free-falling and we feel utterly alone, Christ is most present to us, the beam supporting in earthquake. Then He will remove His hand. Then we will look.” (1,000 Gifts)

I love the people on the island. My friends Medina, Rehema, Shamim, Alapha, Sumani, Beatrice, and all the other little children that have stolen my heart now run up to greet me with “KATE!” instead of “mzungu”. Okay, Medina and Rehema don't run; they're 17 and 22. :) Their lives are hard. It hasn't rained much on the island lately so they're worried that their plants won't grow – and for them, that means food. They have maize, beans, and tomatoes. They're able to sell what they don't need to buy other things, like cooking oil and soap. I don't pity them because it's not the things that matter, they don't have much but they have enough.

It's not the poverty that strikes me the most. Ugandans are hard. They yell and they punish by force; they hit. It hurts me to see a mother hit her child just because he or she is crying. It was in the midst of yelling and hitting and more crying today that my heart cried out, “God, do you even see them?” It was that pain that I see deep inside of them that caused such deep hurt in me, and it was in that pain that I knew the question to that answer.

Of course He sees. Of course He hears. He knows.

When the Israelites were in the desert they complained a lot. Sure, they didn't have things well off, but God had provided for all their needs. One little verse has always caught my attention in that, “God saw the people of Israel – and God knew.” (Exodus 2:25)

Another hard people group – the Karamojong. A good portion of the women at the Center are from a province called Moroto in the north but have moved down to Messese just outside of Jinja. The land there is rough, very hot and dry and the people only herd cattle. These women have also found a special place in my heart. They sit and listen to me but won't let me in. So this week we danced and sang songs, and I loved ever second of it! It may not seem like much to you, but the fact that they were smiling and laughing with me spoke volumes past the language barriers that separate us. These women, much like the land they come from, are rough. They have beautiful babies – Temra, Paul, Charles, Justine, Treasure (contrary to name and the fact that they always dress in pink, is a boy!), so on. They are beautiful women and many have such sad stories, but the stories are not yet finished. God knows.

Sometimes I feel as though I'm drowning in this pain and darkness. It's in that moment that I'm reminded of the story of Moses when he saw God's back. It is that story that my first quote is speaking of; the black, the darkness that God passed by. It's in these moments that I must remind myself, of course God sees. Of course God knows. He hasn't somehow missed the small island of Kisima 2 or the wonderful women from Karamojong. He sees my dear friends, and He has such intense love for them, much more than I can love them.

Would you pray for us, please? It's so easy to get discouraged here; so simple to let the weight of the hurt and pain cause us to question God. But I never want to question the love of God, because that would belittle the Cross. He did that for me, for Medina, for little Alapha, and for you, reading this thousands of miles away. His love is strong and transcends all cultures, languages, and lands.

This week I learned how to say “Yesu akwagala”. Jesus loves you. I never want those words to be stale. I need those words to hold their full effect. Jesus loves you. God sees and God knows.

 This is Marita! She sat with me for about an hour without speaking a word so we didn't even know her name

 When we found that out we danced, sang, and played hop-scotch! A street kid that we adore!

 Jay turned THREE!!

 He loves yellow :)

  God never ceases to amaze me with His handiwork. 

Today is the Day!

"I am thankful for breath for today."

Those words stopped me in my tracks. They were followed by many along the same lines, "I am thankful for life." Day by day. Do I live like that?

Honestly, I don't. I live for the next best thing. The next day I get to go to the village, the day when I finally get married, the day when I have my own children. I'm constantly daydreaming, anticipating tomorrow. Because tomorrow has something that I don't have yet, and tomorrow is better than today. Right?

"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." -- Psalm 118:24

Today. God made today, and He gave me breath for today. And even though sometimes my days don't go as I'd like, sometimes I cry from exhaustion and discouragement, God has given me today. His mercies were new this morning and His grace has carried me through to this night. Today. He has given me today to bless Him and praise Him and sit at His feet in and awe and worship.

Our days have been quite busy as of late. On Wednesday of last week we went to a nearby village called Nyenga with Sarah (the Ugandan worker at the Center) where they have a program with the woman there. We sat with the women, listened to a health class, shared a devotional, and played with some babies. Each woman gets a bag of food -- tomatoes, eggs, posho (a dry mix that they add water to make porridge), onions, mekenai (no idea how to spell this, but it's tiny fish that they make a soup with), and sugar cane. We were able to meet some of these girls on the street later that day and chat with them like normal girls, instead of being the scary mzungu that comes to talk about Jesus. These girls are so young, but so full of life and so desperately in need of love. They come from hard lives with even harder stories to swallow, but I love them, and I know God loves them more.

Thursday morning we set off with Sarah for Mbale (about a two hour car ride) to get Edith and Miracle! She went there a few weeks ago to a hospital called Cure for her operation. She had an infection in her brain that was causing inflammation, so things took a little longer to settle down. She is now back in Jinja at the nutrion ward in the Children's Hospital where she will, by the grace of God, recover and add some weight to that tiny body. She is looking much better already! Edith is doing well, however she is concerned that things will go wrong once they let her go home, as any 16 year old would worry. We have loved walking with them through this, and praise the Lord, our little babe is living up to her name!

Saturday was a beautiful day for a boat ride, so I went with Micah and Tracy to the island of Kisima again to visit my friend Medina. We played cards, threw a ball around, washed laundry in Lake Victoria, ate roasted maize, jumped rope (in a skirt nonetheless!) and talked about Jesus. She claims to be Muslim but says she thinks Jesus loves her too; she says all ways are okay. She's 17 and feisty, she comes from a hard life as well, but I love her.

Another praise: a 17 year old named Sandra who just joined the program at the Center has just decided to keep her baby!! Abortion, while illegal, is a huge problem over here as teen pregnancies are rampant.  The goal of the Center is to provide knowledge that the fetus is a baby, while encouraging the mother that we will walk with them through this as many are thrown out of the homes as they are now seen as a problem. We are so thrilled that Sandra is going to keep her baby, and excited to see how we get to play a part of this as well!

Insert a story for laughter: on our walk home from the Jores we have to pass through two trees that hold many large birds (see previous post on my Dr. Seuss trees!). During the night, any sound scares the birds and they poop all over. Last night was the worst we've seen! Laughter and squeals as we all ran across as fast as we could! Thankfully, none of us got any poop on us. This time. We're considering carrying umbrellas just to pass these birds. "Umbrellas up!" Uffda!

Our days are filled with children -- playing with the Jores, reading Bible stories and singing songs with the street kids, or holding babies at the Center. Our days are filled with building relationships -- with Carolyn, Sarah, Rachel and Robina and the moms at the Center, with the Jores and Luke, Andrew, and Micah, with Courtney's co-workers at The Keep, and with everyone else we encounter (even the boda drivers that insist on proposing to us!) Our days are filled with growth -- reading, praying, seeking, and being still. Our days are filled with joy.

Because joy comes in sitting at the foot of the Cross. It was there that Christ paid for my complete redemption that allows me to enter into the presence of the Creator of the Universe. It is there that I find HIS strength to love the people of Uganda. It is that joy that gives me enough for today. I don't have to rely on my own strength to muster up joy or to earn it by obedience, because God freely gives that joy to me through His Son, Jesus.

"The joy of the Lord is my strength." (Nehemiah 8:10)

All I need do is breathe the breath that He has provided for today.

 Courtney and Miracle at the Children's Hospital in Jinja

 She's back! Growing and recovering, praise Jesus!

 Some of the street kids that we get to sing songs with and read Bible stories to. 

 This is Alpha, age 12

 Cutting a pumpkin open for lunch is always a fun ordeal. Needless to say, I leave the room.

 Just a few of the children on the island that walk with us wherever we go!

 Courtney's coffee art

 One of the babes at the Center today, he's pretty sick so they're going to the hospital tomorrow. 

 Robina now works at the Center too! This is her and Elizabeth from today. It's so nice to have her translate for us!

 Charles :)

We call her Tia because we can't remember her name, but she's adorable!

My friend Medina on the island!

Learning to Count, Learning to Love

"I'm going in the darkness. The light is brighter there."

Little did I expect that the words of a two year old playing with a flashlight would spark such a thought.

Yesterday we went with Micah and Tracy to an island in Lake Victoria called Kisima. After a piki ride to Msesse and just under an hour of Micah rowing in a little boat, we were welcomed with many shouts of "mzungu!" by the children on the island. Each little hand reached for even just a finger to hold as we made our way through the village to the building where Ambassador Institute holds their class.

Ambassador Institute is the ministry that the Jores are involved in, as Nate is the national director. They hold classes to train men and women in the Bible through story telling. The teachers, some Ugandan and some American, memorize the stories in the Bible and recite them for the class. Then they act the story out to help with visualizing in order to memorize, and then the class recites it back. There is then questions and discussion afterwards. The students take exams as they move their way through the Bible, starting with the story of Creation. As a class graduates, students start more classes in the villages or surrounding areas where they live, creating a ripple effect and eventually sustainability for the Ugandans themselves. We have loved seeing this ministry in action and being able to meet and pray with some of the teachers. I am so humbled to know such incredible men of God.

Back to the story: as yesterday was an exam day for the class at Kimaka, I took a stroll on the island by myself. I met some more children and they brought me to their house, where I met Medina (age 17) and her mom, Miriam. With my very, very little Luganda and their broken English, they welcomed me into their home and we were able to talk a bit. It broke my heart that Miriam apologized for her dirt floor, saying that she knows Americans prefer carpet.

Their lives are so simple, but I don't pity them in the least. They do not have the luxuries that we are spoiled with in America -- they eat the same meals day to day, they don't wear shoes, and some of the little kids ran naked -- but they don't complain. This family does not know the Lord though; I so baldy want them to know Jesus, I want them to know true joy. I hope to return to the island next week and start building a relationship with Medina; I told her I'd teach her to play Go Fish. :) I want to show her my Jesus through my love, through His love.

Can I be honest with you? Sometimes it's discouraging here. Sometimes we fell as though we're not truly serving as a missionary ought to. Some days we go to the market and hang the laundry on the line and read books. Some days, most days, I don't share with people the love of Jesus directly in my words. Am I doing something wrong? Shouldn't I be more intentional, more direct in proclaiming God?

I just finished a book entitled "One Thousand Gifts" which has quite radically been shifting my mindset while here. The author encourages the reader to find joy in being thankful, in a more intense, more specific than a general "thank you God" way. I can find things to be thankful in doing the dishes and taking the laundry in and babysitting the Jores, which all seem like I'm not really "working" and witnessing here. "How do I live in a state of awe when life is mundane and ordinary?" (Voskamp, 168). However, in being thankful in these seemingly mundane acts of the day, I find joy, and I praise God.

"Count blessings and discover Who can be counted on." --Voskamp

"A life contemplating the blessings of Christ becomes a life acting the love of Christ."

This is along the lines of what my friend, Bailey, is learning in Madagascar as well. Her blog is http://www.heybails2.blogspot.com/

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." -- Colossians 3:17

A few ways you could pray for us this week:

• We would seek ways to praise and serve God in all that we do, in thought, word or deed.
• As we continue to help at the Crisis Pregnancy Center, we would know how to effectively reach out to the mamas as well as Sarah and Rachel (the Ugandan workers that we adore!)
• As Courtney continues to train at The Keep (a local coffee shop) and build relationships with the Ugandan workers there
• Update on Edith and Miracle: they brought Miracle to Mbale this week but she has an infection in her brain, so they need to treat that first and wait for the inflammation to subside before an operation can be done to remove the hydrocephalus. 
• All of this would be done in the strength of the Lord. It's easy to get tired and discouraged here, but we press on knowing that the joy of the Lord is our strength! Pray that we would remain in that joy and His strength. 

Luke, Andrew, and Mika join us for supper sometimes. This meal was pumpkin, beans, carrots, cabbage, onions, and tomatoes. Fresh fruit too! I love the food here!

 The kids get so excited to have a "photo" taken. However, the flash terrified them at first!

 Mika teaching with Franco translating.

"God created the world out of nothing, and as long as we are nothing, He can make something out of us." 

Martin Luther 

Shoppin' with the Girls

Imagine going to the mall on a Saturday, no, make it a Saturday on some kind of national holiday where every school kid and there grandma have invaded to shop. Crowed, crazy, and loud. That's about what the market here would be like on a slow day. Except they never have slow days.

Yesterday morning we put all of our shopping anxieties behind us and ventured to the market. Being that we were basically out of food (plain ol' rice and sweet milk for supper last night) it was time that we stocked up. Rhoda's hired help, Rhema, said she would take us and show us where and what to buy. They do things a little differently here than back home at your local grocery store. You need to know two main things if you want to come out of the market alive. You need to know which stand has the best produce. And you need to know how much you want and what the right price is. Most of the time they measure things out in kilos, but they also sell things in bundles and “eeps”.

Kate: “How much for the mangos?”

Rhema: “One eep is 500.”

Kate: “One eep?”

Rhema: “One eep is 500.”

Kate: “Oh, one heap....”

Let's just say we got a good laugh out of that one and probably will be measuring everything in “eeps” from now on.

Rhema is seriously the best person to take along shopping. She knows everything. Without her, we could have walked around the market for days trying to figure out what we needed to buy. With her help, we were in and out in less that two hours time. We are now proud owners of two “eeps” of mangos, one bunch of bananas, green beans, Irish potatoes, onions, garlic, one pumpkin, two pineapples, tomatoes, apples, passion fruit (thee best orange goo with seeds ever), matoki (a banana that tastes kinda like a potato), rice, eggs, and one fish.

Being two blonde muzungu (white) girls...heh...our journey home was also quite the adventure. I (Courtney) have been keeping track of the best Ugandan pick-up lines that we have received? been called? blessed with? So far they've been quite creative, but that's a different side note for a different post someday.

It all started with our boda (motorcycle) ride home. So there I was sitting on my boda, heavy groceries in hand and Kate on another boda behind me, waiting to go when all of a sudden my driver says, “Mamma, get off. Off!” Confused I look at Kate and get off. Then there was some discussion between Rhema, my ex-driver and Kate's boda driver. Apparently, he wanted a higher price now for the trip instead of the negotiated price. In a flash there were two other drivers ready to take us. I might have taken the rejection pretty hard if it wasn't for what happened when we finally got home. My new boda driver, David, was very friendly.

David: “How long are you staying?”

Me: “Three months.”

David: “Only three months! I think you stay forever.”

You only could only guess what was coming next.

David: “You are married?”

Me: “No.”

David: “You have boyfriend back in America?”

Me: “No.”

David: “You have boyfriend here in Uganda?”

Me: “No.”

David exasperates, shocked.

David: “We are the same.”

And then came the proposal.

David: “You marry me and I'll take you to lunch.”

Sorry Mom and Dad, looks like I'll be living in Uganda for awhile ;)

All jokes aside, the people here that we have met have welcomed us with open and loving arms. Though the celebrity like attention is definitely flattering, and not something we receive on a day to day basis in the States, we are excited to make and build real relationships with the people here in Uganda. We're reminded that God's grace is available to all. If it wasn't, it wouldn't be grace. Not one of us is worthy of receiving it in the first place and that makes us all equally undeserving.

Serving the One who is Able,

Court and Kate

The haul for a grand total of...drum roll...about $15!

Right before our tilapia got the smack down.

Look what they're selling at Target these days. 

Due to an excess amount of over-ripe bananas, we've been making a LOT of banana bread. 

Praising God in All Things

When it hurts just to breathe, can I still praise God?

I was faced with that question quite literally this week. On Sunday I came down with an internal infection that hit pretty fiercely on Tuesday. Thankfully, there is a doctor from Australia here that was able to see me and after a trip to a hospital just outside of town to get some blood work and an ultrasound, was able to give me some antibiotics and morphine to kill the pain.

I took it easy Wednesday and Thursday and then that night was woken up by intense pain again. Another trip to the doctor and after consulting a few more nurses, everyone was stumped as to what could be causing such pain. I was a mystery! The Jores finally decided that a trip to Kampala was needed for better medical attention, so we got a private hire and Nate, Micah, Courtney, and I took off in the evening to brave the crazy roads of Kampala in the dark.

A short visit there found that I had two pinched nerves in the back that had sent the pain to the front. Praise God that it wasn't something worse! (Although Nate and Micah were secretly hoping for some exotic African disease!) What a week this has been!

I was quite upset with God for a while while I was not feeling well. It didn't make sense to me that I was in so much pain while I was trying to faithfully serve Him in Africa. As a missionary, shouldn't He put a shield of protection around me? Ministry is quite difficult when you are unable to move without tears, so I couldn't figure out why He would allow such pain when I so badly wanted to be at the Center.

However, I quickly came to the realization that in the midst of the pain and questions, my God was still good. His love for me hadn't diminished; His faithfulness had not subsided. It reminded me of a quote from Tim Keller, when asked why God would allow such pain and suffering in the world, he answered that it can't be that He doesn't love us, because the Cross is enough to take away all doubt.

I see pain here, I see suffering. I can't help but wonder if God does care about these people at times, but then I'm reminded that the Cross was for them too. It can't be that He doesn't love them. And that is enough to move me to love them as well. That love that God has bestowed upon me is what motivates us to more forward and love the people of Uganda.

We're looking forward to jumping back in to ministry at the Crisis Pregnancy Center and helping out in the villages this week. We also hope to visit our friend Edith and her baby Miracle soon as well. The latest update is that Miracle is slowly showing signs of improvement, but will probably need to stay here for a few weeks until she is able to go to Mbale for the operation. We would appreciate your continued prayer for Miracle!

Until next time, 

Kate and Court

The Luckeys are taking off this weekend, so we went to the Jinja Nile Resort with them as a final outing. It is beyond beautiful here! We are going to miss the Luckeys so much. :(